“Unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life”

-Bernard Williams

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We love to hear ourselves talk. We especially love to hear ourselves talk about, ourselves! We are our favorite subject! And we are the number one expert in the world! Henry David Thoreau wrote that, “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer”.

And yet, just as someone asking for your advice is the greatest, giving someone unsolicited advice is the WORST.


But first, let me tell you why.

I’ve been to a few weddings. Even had one of my own. And as a wedding photographer, I see it all, start to finish and then some. I see the planning. I see all the hard work. I notice the hand made centerpieces. And I know that you stayed up all night rushing to get them done. I hang out with the groom and his boys. I’m a fly on the wall, observing a dozen bridesmaids crowded around a mirror. I see dads cry and moms hold it all together. I watch your plans materialize on Pinterest. I bug you for the final schedule. Aside from the officiant, I’m the closest one to you as you make lifelong vows to the one you love. I see you on your best behavior. And I see you out on the dance floor on your worst behavior. I’m also the one person for whom the wedding isn’t end of my responsibilities. I talk to brides a year ahead of their weddings, and months after it has ended.

I’ve seen a lot of what works and what doesn’t. And I see the same issues come up over and over again. Sometimes I know there will be an issue a year ahead of the wedding. But it’s not my wedding. You hired me to do a job. I may make a gentle suggestion from time to time, but I don't want to tell you what to do. It’s my job to work around you and what you want, not the other way around. But I still feel the need to get some information out there. The vast majority of my clients have never planned a wedding before. Most don’t have official wedding planners. Wedding planning season is now in full swing. So over the next few months I want to share some information that may be helpful.

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you should do whatever you want. Good wedding vendors will deliver great results no matter the challenge.

Next: Plan Your Wedding Around The Light

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